Grief sucks.

Photo credit: Mind of Mo Photography I don't even know what to say. I've been slacking on my social medias since probably Sunday. For sure, Monday. I know why. And I'm definitely working on it in therapy. Monday was three years since my grandmother passed away. She was one of my best friends. We would talk on the phone for 2-3 hours every time we talked. Losing her was absolutely crushing. It still is. For a lot of reasons. I was 13 weeks pregnant when we found out Grandma had passed. She was so excited for our baby. I still am absolutely devastated that I will never get to share my son with my grandma. Over the course of the last three years, I have ended up losing at least 15 people who were important to me in some shape or fashion. Grandma was one of the first ones. I'm working through the grief and I'm working through everything that comes along with that. It's just hard. I had so many dreams and wishes for the future with her and my baby and of course, her and I. I'm incredibly blessed and really grateful that I got to have her at my wedding. It hurts that she was gone a year and two months later, but I am so grateful to have had her there. Grief is one of those things that never actually goes away. It's like that picture, it doesn't get smaller, you just become more adept at dealing with it in your everyday life. And being that I've lost so many people over the last three years, the grief keeps piling up and it's difficult to parse through it. But it's going. I'm working on it and my therapist says I'm a lot farther along in the process than I think. So, yeah. I had planned on posting every day, but grief sucks. So, I'm sorry for that. It'll probably happen again in February, but I'll handle that when we get there. I hope all of you are well and if you are dealing with grief, of any kind, be gentle with yourself. And my thoughts and love are with you. Love, Candace